Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak!
by knoteach
Summary: A place for the weirdness that flows from my brain with alarming regularity.  Anyone that wants to grab one and add to it is welcome, I just want to read it when you post it *grin*
1. Chapter 1

An odd, but humorous idea from my insane brain

* * *

Harry sat in Dumbledore's office, frustration pouring off his body.

"This is so frustrating. Fawkes can go anywhere, right? Why can't he just grab Voldemort and go drop him in a volcano somewhere!" Harry finally burst out, to Dumbledore's surprise.

Fawkes instantly perked up on his perch by the window.

The headmaster just shook his head understandingly, "Unfortunately, it is not that simple. Voldemort has taken steps to ensure that his death is not permanent."

Harry slouched farther down in his chair scowling, "So? He can use different volcano's for these soul repositories you've talked about. Even if it doesn't destroy them, he'll have a devil of a time getting to them under several million tons of molten lava."

Dumbledore and Harry were both shocked when Fawkes let out a high-pitched trill of victory and disappeared in column of flame.

HPHPHPHPHP

All over the wizarding, Fawkes flashed in, grabbed an item, then flashed out, only to appear over an active volcano and drop the item in.

A sapphire-studded diadem.

A golden chalice.

A silver locket.

A wildly struggling cobra.

And finally an equally struggling deformed humanoid figure.

And with each item dropped, a fragment of a soul shrieked in pain as its vessel was destroyed.

HPHPHPHPHP

Back in Dumbledore's office, Harry and the Headmaster sat silently for several minutes, wondering what in the world was happening.

Harry was about to ask the Headmaster where Fawkes had gone when he was hit with a sharp pain in his scar. "Ouch!"

"Harry, my boy, what's wrong?" Dumbledore asked in concern.

"I had a sharp pain in my scar," Harry said rubbing at the affected area. He again prepared to ask his question when there was another jolt. "Ow!"

This repeated another 3 times, before Harry finally slumped back in his seat, pain completely gone.

"Do you think Voldemort was trying to attack my mind again, Headmaster?" Harry asked as he sat trying to catch his breath.

Before the headmaster could formulate a reply, his office door burst open and Professor Snape rushed in, his left sleeve pushed up to his elbow. "Albus, look! The Dark Mark is gone! It's completely disappeared, not just faded like before!"

Albus stood, looking at his potions professor with frank amazement on his face.

Total silence dominated the office until there another burst of flame, and Fawkes returned to his perch, looking as smug as a bird could get.


	2. Chapter 2

It was such a small thing. A fever. Not like it was the first fever he had ever had; no was it likely to be his last.

It wasn't a particularly high fever either, just a couple tenths of a degree. Enough to make him constantly feel hot and tired, but Harry just ignored it and pushed through the discomfort. It had only been a few days since Harry, with the help of his best friends Rona nd Hermione, had saved the Philosopher's Stone from falling into the hands of a teacher possessed by the spirit of Voldemort. No one would really be expecting him to feel one hundred percent at the moment anyway.

So when he bounced back quickly, most were pleasantly surprised.

What no one atHogwarts realized at first was that Harry had not really bounced back that fast. He was just hiding the discomfort and exhaustion he was feeling. The Dursleys never gave a damn when he was feeling out of sorts, so it had become a habit to hide it any time he wasn't feeling well.

For the last week at Hogwarts, life went on like normal for the vast majority of the students, though Ron, Hermione, and Harry were watched and lauded by many of the students. However while Ron reveled in being the center of attention and Hermione just seemed to ignore it, Harry felt increasingly uncomfortable. Being the center of attention at Privit Drive always meant there was trouble coming.

For a week, Harry ignored the fever that lingered after the confrontation with Quirrel and Voldemort. It was uncomfortable and draining, but what else was he supposed to do. He certainly wasn't going to go back to the infirmary and whine to Madame Pomphrey over something so minor.

Packing the night before the train ride back to London was a chore he could have down without, but it had to be done. The rest of his dormmates were rather eager to be heading home, but Harry could not dredge up much enthusiasm for the prospect, either of the train ride or of returning to the Dursleys.

"Hey, Harry, why aren't you more excited, mate? We're headed home tomorrow. Think, three months of no classes, no homework," Seamus enthused, slinging an arm arond the black-haired seeker's shoulders.

"No Snape!" Ron added as he haphazardly dropped a stack of text books in his trunk.

"Yeah," Dean agreed from where he was pulling stray socks and other bits of clothing form under his bed.

Harry plastered a grin on his face as he ducked out from under the confining arm. "That will be good, but it just seems a let down. Going back tot he muggle world after having seen all that magic can do, I mean," Harry hedged.

Dean shrugged, "Yeah, a bit I guess, but still we'll get to catch up on what's going on in the outside world as well. I know I'm dying to know how United is doing this season. My dad said he's going to take me to see a couple games this summer. You follow any teams, Harry?"

Harry shook his head as he grabbed the last of his books and added them to his trunk. He was almost done packing, which was a relief since he was getting very tired. "Not really. Never really got into sports before coming to Hogwarts."

"Ah, too bad, you're a natural, Mr. Youngest-Seeker-in-a-Century" Seamus quipped.

Harry ducked his head to hide his embarrassment as the rest of the dorm chuckled. Swiftly closing his trunk, Harry looked around for some way to change the subject, since the discussion was getting very uncomfortable for him.

Harry was surprised when Neville asked, "Y...you feeling okay, Harry?" Apparently, while he had been quiet throughout the discussion, he had noticed his discomfiture and flushed face.

Harry immediately waved away his concern. "I'm fine, just getting a bit hungry. Lunch was a long time ago."

"Well, come on then," Ron announced boisterously, catching a hold of Harry's arm and beginning to drag him toward the common room and the portrait hole. "I'm famished and the rest of the packing can wait until after dinner."

Harry had to admit he was not feeling his best, but the habit to hide how he was feeling was deeply ingrained. During the walk toward the Great Hall, most of the first year Gryffindor boys were laughing and shoving playfully while Harry moved to walk in front of the group, not wanting to be pushed about in their horseplay.

Just as they reached the final stairs down to the Entrance Hall, Harry was suddenly seized by a bout of dizziness and stopped to let it pass. Unfortunately it was also at that instant that Seamus, still in a great mood about heading home, gave Neville a playful shove, telling the increasingly worried young wizard to 'lighten up.' Neville, who was walking directly behind Harry brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what about Harry was worrying him, lost his balance and fell foward into Harry's back.

"Harry!"

Harry heard the shouts of his dormmates, but was helpless to stop himself as he lost his footing.

"Catch him!" Seamus added as he tried to dive passed Neville, but it was too late.

The four boys watched in horror as Harry tumbled down the flight of stairs only to fetch up like a ragdoll at the feet of the person that had stepped out of the Great Hall to see what all the shouting was about.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: A couple of days ago a friend of mine introduced me to the world of Fruits Basket. I have since fallen in love with several of the characters, and this idea popped into my head. Basic idea: What if Yuki had taken the opportunity to run away after one of Akito's punishments and was found by our favorite young wizard? Not sure if I'll ever get to write the whole thing, but I though I'd put up what I had. Hopefully it will kick start the muses.

This one is a crossover between Fruits Basket and Harry Potter.

Disclamer: I own nothing related to either Harry Potter or Fruits Basket. I just like to play with them once in a while. Don't bother suing; I don't have anything you'd want anyway.

* * *

Harry smiled as he walked through the woods that surround his property. Hermione had been right again; this vacation had been just what he needed. Ever since he had finished off old Snakeface two years ago, his life had gone insane. Between the media's almost instant canonization of him and the Ministry's constant requests for his attention and skills, Harry hadn't had a day off that didn't involve a trip to the hospital in over a year.

And yet, Harry still didn't know what he was going to do for the rest of his life.

While he had a standing invitation to the Aurors, Harry had found he had no desire to spend the rest of his life chasing around after dark wizards. Being a professional quidditch player might sound good at first, but with the way things were going, he wasn't sure that was a wise idea. He was a bit afraid that any team that signed him would basically use him for his name, not his talent on a broom.

Here in Japan, however, no one seemed to pay one iota of attention to him.

Since his arrival last week, he had had the pleasure of walking around the town, and no one had called out his name or started gushing about how grateful they were or any such rot like in England. Granted he had stayed mostly away from the purely magical areas, but even there, while a few people had instinctively glanced at his forehead and bowed to him, no one had made a big fuss. It was so refreshing.

Glancing around, Harry started to turn back toward the house when he heard a quiet whimper. Freezing in place, Harry listened carefully and was soon able to distinguish the sound of harsh breathing. Moving quietly in the direction of the sound, Harry soon found the source of the sound. Lying at the base of a large tree was a small boy. He looked to be about seven years old with dark silvery gray hair. He was wrapped in a dirty kimono and curled up in a ball panting for breath.

Harry frowned in concern. What was such a young child doing out here on his own? Making sure to make some noise, Harry stepped forward to offer his help.

* * *

Yuki lay panting on the ground, pain lancing through his legs and chest. After Akito had finished with his 'lessons' last night, Yuki had finally snuck out of the house and run as fast as he could into the woods. That had been several hours ago, but Yuki wasn't sure how far he had gotten. He had seen the property line a little while ago, but soon after that his legs had given out.

Yuki tried to force his breathing to even out, but the tightness in his chest warned him that his lungs were getting irritated and his asthma was acting up. Hearing a movement nearby, Yuki jerked upright in fear, still panting for breath.

Looking up Yuki saw a strange man with wild black hair watching him with an odd expression on his face. Pressing his back against the tree he had lying beside, Yuki watched him, still trying to get his breathing under control.

"Are you alright?" the man asked as he crouched down in front of him.

"I'm fine, sir," Yuki answered quietly between gasps for breath. Yuki couldn't help but cringe when the man frowned at him.

"Hey, it's all right," the stranger said soothingly. "My name is Potter Harry. What's yours?"

Hari? Yuki thought. This man didn't look life Hatori at all, but it was funny that they would have the same nickname. "I'm Sohma Yuki, Potter-sama." Yuki relaxed just a little when the man smiled at him. It was a friendly smile, not one full of hate like Akito's smiles.

* * *

Harry gave the boy in front of him a smile even as he frowned inwardly. The Sohma's owned most of the land to the east of his property. It was a very large estate, and according the few things he had heard about them, they were a very wealthy and powerful family. So why was this boy out here in the woods alone? Harry also didn't like the way the boy kept moving away from him and gasping for breath. He was frightened and running from something.

"You can call me Harry, Yuki-kun," Harry said still smiling. "You look tired. Why don't you come to the house and rest for a while?" Harry pointed off to the right toward his house. He could see the boy weigh his words, before nodding hesitantly. Smiling again brightly, Harry stood and extended his hand to help the boy up.

Yuki hesitantly took the offered hand and pushed himself up, but his exhaustion caught up with him and his legs collapsed again. Moving quickly, Harry scooped the slight form up in his arms and in so doing the kimono slipped open to reveal the boys legs...which were covered in welts and bruises.

"Dear Merlin!" Harry exclaimed quietly. Glancing back at the boy's face, Harry saw fear on the flushed face. "It'll all right, Yuki-kun. I won't hurt you." Seeing the boy's breathing seemed to be getting worse, he asked, "Yuki, your breathing, what's wrong?"

"A...Asthma," he managed to mumble through his increasingly strident breathing.

Nodding, Harry didn't say another word as he started striding quickly toward his house. He might not have much experience with healing, but he did remember Madam Pomphrey giving Dennis Creevey calming potions to stop asthma attacks during his first few years at Hogwarts, and he always kept a few on hand himself. A little soothing balm for his legs and then Harry would worry about finding out who had hurt the boy. And making sure they never got the chance to do it again.

Only after he had gotten all of that done would he worry about why his arms tingled with magic as he carried the boy.


	4. Chapter 4

An Odd idea I came up with a couple weeks ago that won't leave me a lone. May eventually get turned into its own series of vignettes, but not sure at the moment.

Basic idea: Taking the name of a real candy, what would the Weasley Twins make from it? Cyber cookies to anyone that what this one was a play off of. Enjoy!

* * *

"Happy Birthday, Harry!" The sea of redheads chorused as their adopted little (to most any way, the only one still short than him was Ginny and at the rate she was growing this year she might just pass him before Christmas) brother came through the door of the Burrow.

The black-haired teenager just grinned as he continued in, only jumping slightly at the sudden noise. "So that's what Tonks was trying not to talk about on the way," Harry muttered as he through a laughing glance at the slightly abashed Auror. Turning back to his friends, Harry stepped forward and accepted the bear hug Mrs. Weasley had waiting for him.

There was cake and all of his favorite foods for lunch. A small stack of presents was gratefully received as well. After everything had calmed down, the adults wondered off, and Ron was about to suggest a pickup game of Quidditch when the twins popped up on either side of the birthday boy.

"Hey, Harrikins," Fred started.

"**Since it's your birthday and all**," George continued.

"We thought we'd be remiss,"

"**Quite remiss, indeed**,"

"If we didn't make our silent partner,"

"**Something truly special**."

"Therefore, we would like to present to you,"

"**A first edition**,"

"A unique and never before experienced,"

"WWW treat!" the Twins finished together, presenting to Harry a small silver and crimson colored box.

Harry couldn't keep his amusement at the Twins antics off his face as he carefully took the box and opened it. Inside, just as they had said, were several candies that Harry had never seen in their inventory before. The multi-colored candies were in the shape of stars with differing numbers of points and about the size of a tip of a person's finger. Glancing back at the twins, he asked, "What do they do?"

The twins just grinned and shook their heads. "That would cheating, Harrikins."

"You'll just have to eat on and fine out."

Giving the box in his best friend's hand a nervous glance, Ron said, "I don't think that would be such a great idea, mate." Hermione and Ginny just nodded their agreement. They had all learned the hard way that anything the twins handed you to eat tended toward having bizarre effects.

Giving the twins a gimlet eye, Harry carefully selected a blue and green swirled five point star. "This isn't going to turn my hair colors or make my clothes disappear is it?"

"Would we really do something like that to you on your birthday, Harry?" Fred asked in an affronted tone.

Harry just stared at him with an eyebrow raised. The rest of their audience wasn't as reticent in their opinions on the matter.

After a few seconds, George relented, "Promise, Harry. It's nothing embarrassing. This one is just for fun."

Still not entirely sure, Harry looked from the twins to the candy in his hand a couple times, before shrugging and popping it in his mouth. He trusted them not to hurt him and if it was too embarrassing, he had his ways of getting back at them and they knew it. Finding the candy to be somewhat soft, Harry started to chew, enjoying the intense fruit flavor. "Umm, it tastes great. So what does it..?" Harry's voice trailed off as he was distracted by a little tickle and a quiet whooshing noise close to his ears. Turning his head quickly he found what looked like a tine firework explode with a quiet 'pfff' right in front of his face.

Quickly finding a mirror, Harry stood speechless for a second as he watched tiny fireworks coming out of his ears to buzz around his head for a moment before exploding into a shower of blue and green sparkles. After a few moments, Harry could help by start laugh as he pointed to the image in the mirror.

Turning quickly he shoved the box of candies toward his friends, still laughing as he said, "Come on you gotta try this."


	5. Chapter 5

Yikes, it's been a long time since I posted anything! My muses have rejoiced in sending me ideas, then running off before I can get anything decent written. However, I caught one long enough to get something decent out of it last week, so here it is. I will be returning to my posted stories as soon as I can write anything that isn't utter garbage for them.

This is a cross over of the Mr. Black HP AU, created by the great Rorschach's Blot's 'Make a Wish', and an anime to be named later. I kind of want to see when people will figure it out, so I'll tell you at the end. This story is set in the Make a Wish AU about a year after the story 'Terminal Justice.'

Hope you enjoy :)

* * *

Mr. Black was bored.

Very Bored.

And that could be a very dangerous thing.

Not to himself, of course, but for the peace of mind of his friends and family, since when he was bored he tended to go on adventures.

It had been a week and a half since Tim started the new term at Hogwarts and Kara and Raven had headed off together for an extended mother/daughter vacation to visit several of their friends in the Justice League's dimension. So Harry was very bored.

Slouching in his favorite overstuffed chair, Harry summoned one of his newest books, a treatise on Druidic Rituals written around the time of the Hogwarts founders that had been discovered recently by one of the magical archeology teams that Black Ink now funded. Thanks to Henchgirl's newest addition to his disguise bracelet, he was able to drop in on the teams as just another intern being cycled around the sites, but since he had already visited all of the site currently running, he didn't even have that to distract him.

After a several minutes of the extremely dry treatise, Harry closed it in frustration. It was a poorly written knock off of another earlier manuscript that he had read last week while on site. Banishing the book back to its shelf with a mental note to file it in the "Don't bother reading" section of the library, Harry was right back where he started…bored.

"Hey ya, Mr. Black, how's it going?" came a cheerful, and familiar, voice from behind Harry's chair.

"Hello, Teleute," Harry returned the greeting happily as he stood, since any time Teleute bothered crossing into another dimension meant something was up. She needed something, which would give Harry something to DO! Bye-bye boredom! "What's up?"

The gothic-dressed, seeming-teenage Head Death of the Justice Leagues' dimension chuckled, "Been hearing through the grapevine that Kara and Raven are visiting folks around my dimension and thought you might be willing to lend me a hand. It's a bit of an odd situation and requires delicate handling."

"Sure, want to head to my office, and you can tell me what's going on?" Harry asked as he stepped around the chair and pointed to a side door. Receiving a nod, Harry politely opened the door and waited for the female Death to precede him into the office. Settling into some comfortable chairs, Harry waited for her explanation.

"Well, as I said it's odd, but I've lost touch with some friends in another of the dimensions," Teleute said, a tone of concern coloring her voice.

Harry's eyebrows shot towards his hairline in surprise. "How?"

Teleute bit her lip as she tried to think of how to explain. "Do you remember when I told you that I sometimes become human just for a day or so to experience life again?" Seeing Harry nod, she continued, "Well, a while back a friend of mine – he's like us, Head Death in his dimension – was telling me that the human world was coming up on a war that had the potential to totally destroy the planet if nobody did anything. I found out that he asked the pantheons for volunteers to go into the human world with him and head it off. He and four volunteers headed off into the human realm to help stop the war after telling the rest of the Deaths that they might be gone as long as ten years clearing up the mess. That was nearly fifteen years ago, and there has been no word from them since. Their earth has been at peace for years now, and no one over there knows what's happened to them."

By the time Teleute was finished, Harry was sitting forward listening avidly. "There's been no word from them at all?" he asked.

"None, the will of Death is still functioning and people are dying like they should, but no one knows where they are or what happened to them," she confirmed.

"What do you need me to do?"

Again Teleute looked uncomfortable, "While many Deaths can take human form, you have to practice building up the stamina to hold the form more than a few days, and, well, I never had the patience to do it. I was hoping you might be willing to hop over there and look for them. I can take you through to their dimension, give you an introduction to the pantheons, and set you up with a base of operations."

Harry thought for a few moments. Kara and Raven weren't due to come back for another couple of months, Tim would be away until Christmas, and any projects and approvals could be done, via cell floo, so why not? "Sure, I'll help. What can you tell me about the missing Deaths and their dimension?"

Will a small sigh of relief, she relaxed slightly and started explaining, "The head death goes by the name of Shinigami, though of course he as several others, that just happens to be his favorite. More than likely their appearances will have changed, but Shini has a very cheerful and fun loving personality as long as you don't get him angry. And he'll have long hair, he never explained it to me really, but he always, ALWAYS has his hair long. As for the others, I was told he took Tsukuyomi, Hades, Cernunnos, and Guan Di with him."

"Hades?" Harry interrupted, surprised that the arrogant god would be willing to take human form at all.

"Not my Hades, Harry. The different dimensions have their own pantheons and gods. While the names may be the same, their personalities and character will differ," she explained. "Tsukuyomi is from the Japanese pantheon, god of the night and the moon. Very stoic and logical, Tsuku doesn't have the best grasp on emotions and since the last time he lost control, he sparked a feud with his sister that has never been mended, he tries his hardest to suppress all emotion." Harry winced as he heard this description, certainly didn't sound like the best person to be heading into a warzone to prevent the end of the world. "As long as he listens to the others, he should have no problem, and he respects and trusts Shinigami and Cernunnos implicitly," she assured him. "He doesn't have any particularly obvious physical quirks like Shini, unfortunately, so I can't help you there.

"Hades Pluto is more like Tsukuyomi than the Hades you met in my dimension. He's almost as stoic but he does understand emotions better; he just doesn't express them voluntarily. He is also has a very protective personality. He's been known to stay in the human world longer than he normally would after making friends with humans; though he has always sent word when that happened before. The only hint I can give you for finding him, is that he has always had a way with animals, specifically predators. The larger they are the more they like him, so maybe zoos or something like that.

"Cernunnos is a member of the Gaelic and Celtic pantheon of Northern France and the British Isles, though he is better known as Herne the Hunter in the Isles. He's actually a god of nature and fertility rather than war or fighting, so I know it must have been a difficult decision for him," the tone of sorrow in the visiting Death's voice told Harry how much she cared for the other immortal.

"I take it you know him well?" Harry asked after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah, I know all of them well," she sighed. "Herne is kind of like everyone's favorite little brother, always has a smile for his family and friends and always wanting to help in any way he can. He's also got a tactical and analytical mind that would leave your old friend Ron in the dust. As to where to find him, look for somewhere that would challenge his mind. He's worse at dealing with boredom than you are," she smirked at the native Death a little.

Harry maintained his mature attitude and responded accordingly…he stuck his tongue out at her and waved her on.

"Guan Di, also known as Yunchang, actually has a lot in common with you. He was a human that was rose to the level of a god after many battles and struggles. He is a god of honorable warfare and justice. He does not condone fighting for fighting's sake like Ares and has returned to mortal form several times to stop wars in the past. He has always used a blade in the past and reverts to the Chinese appearance of his youth; though the details will differ," Teleute finished as she showed Harry some illusions of what Guan Di had looked like at various times, and every one of them had the black hair, dark eyes, and slanted features that indicated Chinese heritage.

"Is there anything about their dimension I should watch out for?" Harry asked as he started to mentally list the things he needed to make sure he took with him. It wasn't a long list, but there were a few things he should retrieve before heading off on this new adventure.

"Their dimension is highly technological, as opposed to magical, though magic has finally started to manifest in the humans of that dimension. They've even got fully functional space colonies. From what the rest of the pantheons could tell me there were two wars a few years ago that had the potential to destroy the world, but the crisis was averted. Since there has been no word from Shinigami or any of the others, the pantheons are still on high alert in case something else happens, and it is wearing on them." Even gods could only maintain high alert for so long.

Nodding in understanding, Harry stood and flung out his arm, silently summoning a few items, then strode over to the coat rack behind his desk and slipping his long duster coat on. Without looking up he caught his gauntlets, hex-quarter, and portable library as they zipped in from the various places he had left them around the fortress and stowed them in his coats dimensionally expanded pockets while checking to make sure he had everything else he wanted. Pulling out his 'special' wand he fired off messenger Patroni to Henchgirl, the Professor, and the Doctor explaining that he had been informed of a situation that need his help in another dimension, a glance at his visitor gaining him the correct Dimensional 'frequency' for them to contact him on the cell floo with. Finishing, he smiled and asked, "When can we leave?"

* * *

And just to confirm, this is a crossover with Gundam Wing, set approximately 3-4 years after Endless Waltz.

So what do you think?


End file.
